For some reason, today felt like a very Iron Fist kind of day. Can’t imagine why.
Anyway. I love Marvel’s Masterworks because they’re pretty and glossy and just long enough to be a solid read, but not so long that you start to go crazy halfway through. I love them doubly much when I get them for a screaming discount at a convention, which is where I bought this recently (we’ll not talk about how much I spent buying volume two from Amazon. We’ll just ignore that completely and pretend like the amount I paid for two is totally reasonable, so why quibble over individual prices, right? Right.)
(obligatory snark about Iron Fist’s outfit goes here, continues throughout evening).
So, this is what I like about Iron Fist comics - first off, the outfit. That thing is glorious. Even when he tries to be all stealth and blend in, it’s still like:
Yeah, no. That is in no way better, Danny. Try again.
That’s… that’s your “I’m leaving to seek revenge!” outfit, Danny? Oh dear. Oh, you poor little puppy. Let us discuss… hell, let us first discuss the importance of weather-appropriate attire. I know you just spent ten years punching a bucket of gravel, but you could at least zip up a bit or something. I mean, even Black Widow got to zip up the catsuit that time she was all winter-equipped.
Anyway, there’s more at work in here than sartorial splendor. There’s a distinct feel to these comics, which is kind of refreshing… until about page 150, at which point it just becomes hilarious. “You are Iron Fist, and you are totally hosed. You roll out of the way but you are still totally hosed.”
I do appreciate that most of this is told in flashback, too - that’s kind of fun. First, as a narrative approach - it keeps things interesting and just a bit unsettled. Second, it’s also hilarious to track what starts these flashbacks - it’s basically a concussion symphony up in here. “You are Iron Fist, and you’ve just been dolphin punched in the neck by a mechanical double of your best friend from kindergarten. This reminds you of another time you got punched in the neck, and your mind goes back there as your vision fades…”
An entire issue is dedicated to Iron Fist trying to get to the top floor of the Worst Office Building Ever. In theory, awesome - everything is rigged and Iron Fist’s awesomeness means he can adapt through this 20-story mousetrap. In practice, it’s just freaking hilarious in the way that Wyle E Coyote cartoons are hilarious. Also: costume-eating acid is one of the traps. Ponder that for a moment. Yes. Yes, it is awesome.
Also awesome (in the fun, “I think this might be offensive to a lot of people right now” way): Batroc. Bless you, too, Batroc. I need to go rewatch CA:TWS now, but once I get done with that, I’m totally going to appreciate the hell out of your orange undies on the outies.
This is actually how Batroc leaves a room. Seriously. He springs out of it. This is, apparently, the best exit he can make. I am, apparently, now a huge Batroc fan. Who knew?
Obviously, Danny makes some friends along the way - I mean, someone had to give him that not at all sketchy trench coat, right? There’s Professor Wing, who totally understands the point of academia:
You’re a hero to us all, sir.
There are also ladies. Hello, ladies:
"The idea does not displease you. You are starting to rethink the whole ‘Dude in a leotard’ thing, however. You wonder how quickly you can remove yourself from this room. You look for an opening and block yourself with a unconscious dude wearing nothing but underoos and a pair of awesome boots. You wonder if the rest of the world is like this, too."
I have no excuse for this. This is purely and absolutely Out Of Context Theater. I apologize… for nothing.
And then there was the Iron vs Iron showdown that everyone was (totally not) waiting for and I realized that this might actually be the perfect book. Might actually be just that. I mean, there was the rather weird “Ha! Look! A sniper having Vietnam flashbacks - awesome!” story that I felt guilty for snickering at (I was laughing at the clothing, people. I’m not a total monster - but Warhawk looks like the mustachioed love child of Colossus and Captain Planet and come on) - but otherwise, yes. Yes, this book is perfect. Perfect in all of its 70s glory.